Workplace Romances: why you can’t afford to look the other way 

When their business becomes your business: why you can’t afford to look the other way when it comes to romantic relationships in the workplace.

Many people meet their partners at work; a 2020 survey in The HR Director found that 66% of workers in the UK have had a romantic relationship with a colleague and 28% found their current partner at work.

But in the last few years, several high-profile CEOs have been fired or resigned due to being caught in undisclosed relationships with colleagues.

Nestlé’s Laurent Freixe is the most recent example. In September he was fired after almost 40 years with the company when an internal investigation found he hadn’t disclosed a romantic relationship with a subordinate. 

In 2023, BP’s Bernard Looney resigned for failing to fully disclose past personal relationships with colleagues.

In 2019, Steve Easterbrook the CEO of MacDonald’s was fired for a consensual relationship with a company employee. He had previously authored the company’s code of conduct, which prohibited relationships between employees with a direct or indirect reporting relationship. Ultimately this resulted in him having to repay over $100 million in past equity awards to MacDonald’s after it sued him. 

And, this summer, the infamous “Coldplay kiss” made headlines around the world when Andy Byron, the married CEO of Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, the company’s chief people officer, were caught in an embrace on the big screen at a Coldplay concert, in a clip which quickly went viral. Both resigned soon after.

In all these cases, the relationships were consensual, but the companies took decisive action because they are now expected to uphold higher standards of transparency and ethics than might have once applied.  

So, if large corporates are falling foul of these new standards, what are the lessons for start-ups and fast growth companies?  

In start-ups and scale-ups there may be fewer (or no) formal policies in place, looser oversight and an underdeveloped culture so, such organisations are potentially at greater risk.

Why does it matter?

While employers cannot prevent romantic relationships between colleagues entirely – employees have the right to a private life under the Human Rights 1998 – they can legitimately require disclosure when such relationships could impact the workplace.

This could include: 

1. Legal risks: Employers have a positive obligation to prevent sexual harassment in their workplace and must not discriminate in managing their staff. Consider what might happen when a relationship ends? Ensure you have robust policies in place and deal with any complaints quickly and consistently. Consider how you will ensure fairness between the parties (either during a relationship or if it ends) to mitigate claims of discrimination. Relationships of all varieties should be managed in the same way (e.g. homosexual or heterosexual should not be treated differently).   
2. Loss of trust: If a senior leader is hiding a relationship, even if there is no established code of conduct which is being breached, trust with the board, wider team and investors is likely to be seriously undermined.  In Nestle’s case the lack of disclosure was central to the reason for dismissal. 
3. Reputation: These cases are more than HR issues, when/if they become public, as the Astronomer case shows. Investor confidence is hit, share price and valuation suffers.  Nestle’s share price fell after Freixe’s exit due to the shock of leadership instability. 
4. Culture: In a start-up, culture starts at the top, so if leaders are seen to tolerate or fail to manage relationships it sends a signal that rules are optional and transparency doesn’t count. This can quickly lead to a downward spiral. 
5. Staff Morale: Where there is a direct reporting line then there is an obvious risk of a conflict of interest. In the Nestle case, there were internal concerns about fairness when the relationship reportedly led to the rapid career progression of subordinate involved. If staff feel there is unfairness, they may become disincentivised.  

What can you do about it?

1. Create a clear workplace relationships policy that expressly requires disclosure of romantic relationships involving direct or indirect reports or potential conflict.
2. Carefully define what relationships must be disclosed and what a direct/indirect is. 
3. Ensure that any disclosure is handled confidentially, in line with data protection requirements.
4. Train leadership and HR on handling disclosures and dealing with any complaints.
5. Communicate your expectations broadly throughout the business so that everyone knows what is expected of them and the consequences of breaching the rules. Don’t just add your policy to the handbook, makes sure it is included in onboarding and periodically in staff communications and meetings.
6. Ensure the rules are applied consistently to everyone. Be alive to the risk of discrimination when implementing your policy. For example, don’t always assume it should be the most junior person in the relationship that is moved to ensure fairness.   
7. Make sure your senior leaders understand that they are expected to uphold the highest ethical standards. Consider including breach of any relationship policy or company code of conduct as gross misconduct in your service contracts and a specific “bad leaver” event in your bonus/ equity schemes. 

When the personal becomes professional

Not all workplace romances will be problematic but, when they involve a power imbalance, an actual or potential conflict of interest or non-disclosure or cover-up they become a serious business issue.

Leaders should not “look the other way” and dismiss romantic workplace relationships as just a personal matter. 

Can we help you?

We can help you draft your people policies and processes and help implement practical changes to ensure you remain compliant and mitigate legal risk. We also offer training to help you get to grips with legal requirements.